Walk this way...

Having spent best part of the last week on crutches, I thought it might be an idea to share with you some of the observations I've made over the last few days, as I adjust to life with four legs.

It happened so quickly, my fall, or should I say spectacular somersault from my kitchen door into the back garden( I never miss an opportunity to exaggerate, never!). I succeeded in mangling my left shin on a concrete step and crushed my other leg under my own body weight. Typical of my usual bad timing, I was en route to the fridge for a bottle of rosé, in preparation for the TV première of Casino Royale. Instead, I opted for a cup of tea and some painkillers as I settled down to watch Daniel Craig throw himself off buildings for fun! Oh the irony! 7 X-rays later, I was informed, to my immense relief, that all bones were intact, and that I had simply torn ligaments and a sprained foot! I've lost count of the number of people who love to tell you that sprains are far worse than broken bones, and take longer to heal. This is just what I need to hear!

I wouldn't say I had mastered the art of walking on crutches, but it is much preferable to shuffling like an old biddy in slippers on the geriatric ward. The downside is the strain on your chest and arms, and I am terrified I will end up looking like Geoff Capes. My friend Kelly put it quite plainly. It takes more than just your leg muscles to propel you along, something I had never thought about before, but she, irritatingly, is right as usual! Kelly was a surgical secretary, which sounds like she used a scalpel to open the post and wore a green gown and mask when typing. No, I think maybe she was a surgeon's secretary, but anyway, she comes in handy when talking about matters medical.

The kids at school have been great; most concerned and helpful as ever. I seem to have joined an elite club, as there are three other children on crutches, and they wave them at me when we pass, in the same way that Mini drivers flash lights at each other on the road! Maybe I will acquire the LEGendary status usually reserved for PE staff and teachers who play the guitar? As for my friends, there isn't an hour goes by where they aren't sniggering at me, running off with my crutches or posting 'hilarious' comments on facebook about my plight!

Now for the serious bit. This last week has revealed much to me on just how tricky it is walking with legs that don't work properly. My boyfriend, Stevie copes amazingly well with severe arthritis, and walking with a stick is an everyday necessity, one that most 33 year-olds would simply refuse to do. The simplest things are a challenge; I can't carry anything, so work is tricky, and any venue with stairs is a problem I have never encountered before. I could list many more, and I could complain loudly about my injury and its sheer inconvenience but I won't. In a few weeks, my crutches will be redundant, and I can look back on a painful but comical episode and hope not to repeat it. Stevie will be Stevie; rarely complaining and stubbornly staying out in the cold tinkering with his cars when he should be indoors. His delight in teaching me how to cope, and his smug smile when he fishes unreachables down from the supermarket shelf with his stick, shed a different light on disability. He lives with it every day and I have only had a taste of it, and, without sounding patronising, I am incredibly proud of my man. He's known at the car club as Stevie Stick, and he doesn't give a damn!

It hurts a lot and my leg resembles an armadillo from the tubigrip in permanent residence, but it has brought many many laughs. From the pensioners who stood aside to let Stevie, myself and our walking aids pass by, to my 84 year old Grandma offering to carry my bag, there have been hilarious moments. However, I can think of less painful ways to amuse one's friends and family. Thank you to everyone who has smirked at my new walk and raised at eyebrows at my insistence on sobriety at the time of fall, your support is overwhelming, and just how I like it!

Here goes!

Bear with me. Inspired by relatively recent, though brilliantly written blogs by my kid brother and my sister-in-law, I decided to venture into the world of blogging. After stumbling through layouts and templates, I create a page, on which I am meant to write something of interest. Read on.

As for the name, I trawled through some waffley lists of names, wondering whether to use my location, my job, my interests and then eventually opted for something to do with my name. I think I came up with this title when asked, by facebook, a close personal friend of mine, to create a name for a website about me. Bizarrely, when I typed this into Google, I found there is a biblical city called Michmash, in Israel, just down the road from Jericho! Wahay, my blog is educational...it has a purpose!

I have no idea what I am going to write about, I don't travel all that much, although I do need to share my summer trip with the whole world, or at least those who have the decency to read this. It was amazing! I live a reasonably ordinary life, I'm happy in my job, so unlikely to offer career guidance for disgruntled (that's one of my favourite words) employees. I'm a mother of three. Now, on that I could write a book, but I know many contented and fulfilled mothers who would say exactly the same as me, so maybe not an interesting topic. I'll share Robyn's gems with you, and if I could capture Devon's expressions of disdain at her mother's embarassing behaviours, believe me I would, she is so funny! James is still amused that I am on facebook, though not on HIS friends list, so would simply raise a gorgeous eyebrow and smile if I told him I blog. My kids are wonderful, so maybe I will talk lots about them.

Hmm, I'm enjoying this, but maybe you aren't, and now I find myself in an internal dialogue with you, worrying about you, wondering what you look like, do I know you or not? I'll do this for my own amusement if nothing else, and hope that you stay with me, for the time being. Things are constantly popping into my head, which I'll leave 'til another time.

Lovely to meet you, please leave me a comment, I'm thick-skinned, and I'm a Geordie, (oh, just thought of a better blog name, possibly too obscene for some, my brother knows what I'm thinking, never mind), yes, so speak as you find!
That's all for now.